Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Internal/External Fight

What is it called when you can't even agree with yourself? Internal conflict? Confusion? What does it mean when people make a comment and even in surety you still down your own emotions?
People say words are words, but words are bullets with meaning. It's no longer how something is said but what is said. Words are something that will be harped on forever, yet some people think others should remain silent. Purpose? Stupidity.
Maybe this is as much for myself as it is for others in a similar state of confusion. I'm so sure I know what I want I'm confused. I'm so in tuned with my inner self that I can psychoanalyze my own actions, fears, and setbacks. But why do I still continue to do as I do? Force of habit? Dire need? I don't know.
I do know that depsite all my insecurites, fears, flaws, and inability to make great decisions at times, I will continue reaching for the mark. I won't let those things affect who I truly am. For God said it best, "I am".
I let my insides fight with my outsides, but in the middle I stand and maybe will I forever be.

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