Protecting Your Own

Settling is never an option. You know why people settle? Because they either feel like they aren’t worth much or they’ve gone through so much bull that they figure that’s all they’ll ever get from any situation.
Now, just speaking to the ladies right now: How many times do men mention pre-numps? If they are making more money than you, they damn sure want to make sure you don’t walk away with half of what they worked so hard to get. They are PROTECTING THEIR OWN! So, when men want to call you a gold digger because you ask him about his money, let him know you’re protecting your own as well.
Don’t get it twisted. There are some scheming heffas who are money-hungry skeezers. But at the end of the day realize that as a human you must protect your assets, including your heart and your sex. They say real recognize real. Well, how many “real niggas” or “down-ass bitches” you know who have screwed someone over? Tons of them. So obviously real doesn’t recognize real if you’re fake. So, to all my ladies and my fellas, protect your own. Recognize your worth and learn to play the game of life. In the end most of us want a happy ending.

Sad World

I cannot bear ignorant people. I think that the economy is in the state its in because of ignorant people. I’m not speaking of people who do dumb or irresponsible things. I mean people who put $1 on their credit card. Why not use a dang debit?!!!!! The interest you’re going to accrue on that dollar is not worth it, especially if that’s the only purchase that you made for that day. People don’t realize that swiping a card isn’t something that should be done frivolously. Just because you have an AMEX doesn’t mean that you should just chuck it up to an “oh I have money” attitude. And then on top of that you have the nerve to be cheap? Who the hell puts a $1 on a credit card? Ugh, people! And then you have people who would rather spend $8 at KFC instead of taking the money and buying rice and a pack for chicken to feed the family for at least a few days! Think people, think! I just notice the world around me and people make me so sad. The saddest part is that these ignorant are teaching their children their same ignorant ways. The circle of ignorance continues.

Striking Resemblance

I normally do not care about who's dating whom in the celebrity world. However, Chris Brown's new girlfriend sure looks a lot like Rihanna. Well, Jasmine is older, so I guess Rihanna looks like her. Either way: 1st one is Jasmin. 2nd is Rihanna.

Internal/External Fight

What is it called when you can't even agree with yourself? Internal conflict? Confusion? What does it mean when people make a comment and even in surety you still down your own emotions?
People say words are words, but words are bullets with meaning. It's no longer how something is said but what is said. Words are something that will be harped on forever, yet some people think others should remain silent. Purpose? Stupidity.
Maybe this is as much for myself as it is for others in a similar state of confusion. I'm so sure I know what I want I'm confused. I'm so in tuned with my inner self that I can psychoanalyze my own actions, fears, and setbacks. But why do I still continue to do as I do? Force of habit? Dire need? I don't know.
I do know that depsite all my insecurites, fears, flaws, and inability to make great decisions at times, I will continue reaching for the mark. I won't let those things affect who I truly am. For God said it best, "I am".
I let my insides fight with my outsides, but in the middle I stand and maybe will I forever be.

Redone Self- The power of Learning

Random Dancing

Lover's Lane

Self Portrait Redone which the upload messed up

Self Portraits-First Try

Cool Photoshop Tutorial on Making Water Drops

Photoshop Tutorial- Beautiful Water Effect

Photoshop Tutorial- Twilight Text Effect

Tutorial 3- Cool clothing Transformation

Tutorial 2- Vectorize a Human Eye

Adobe Tutorial 1

Business Card + Logo

Poster 2

Poster 1

Star-Crossed Lovers

What Would You Do with More Time

Time is a factor; in life, in school, in a relationship. What would you do if time were on your side? Would you say I love you more often? Would you spend more time with your kids? Or would you squander it on the useless like you continue to do? Time is of the essence but time management is the essence of time. Time allows wounds to heal, relationships to grow, children to get bigger. But time does not allow for mistakes. Life doesn't have an eraser and although, in life, we may get a second chance, time isn't forgiving of the first mistake that was made. If time was on your side, what would you do?

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Basic Information About Myself

Name: Shirell Mosby
Age: 21
Hobbies: Reading, writing, dancing, cooking/baking, relaxing
Class Standing: Senior
Plans for the future: Law school and beyond
Interesting thing about me: I'm double jointed and have a slightly odd amazement for alligators (stemmed from a childhood experience)
I don't own any pets, although I would like to one day. I'm a work-a-holic, so relaxing is work sometimes. I'm a pretty laid back person, unless I'm driving. I have bad road rage. I'm a quirky, little nerd but I'm not a super genius. I guess I just look the part? I'm still a Mommy's girl, and probably will be until the day I die.

Men Bashing is Wrong...

However, some men deserved to be bash. This is not a blog about men vs women, nor a battle of the sexes. This is simply a blog to question why men must lie. We all know everyone, male or female, lies at some point in time but men seem inclined to lie ALL the time. Point: There's this guy that knows I have a boyfriend but professes his like for me and claims that he will wait until I'm single (if that ever happens) to make me his. Ok, dream on buddy. But he's a nice guy so I let him off easily. Well, all the while I ask him, "So, there's no other girl you're interested in? Do you really want to keep wasting time on me?" His response every time is "No, I know God sent you for me. You're the girl I plan to marry." OK, sure. So, I find out that he's talking to another girl and when I ask him about it, he still says there's no one that he's talking to or interested in. Then I decide to be more specific, because guys can't seem to be honest if you aren't painstakingly specific, and I ask him if there's someone that's interested in him or someone that he's seeing a lot more of these days. Finally he tells me yes but it's not serious. Now I should not care because I'm in a relationship and I am truly happy that he's found someone else to occupy his time. I'm upset because I don't like nor respect liars. Why try to cover it up? And why try to talk to two girls at the same time? Do men really need that back up in case one girl completely shuts them down? Ugh, men of this caliber make me sick and make me want to run them over with my car. OK, not that extreme, but you get the point. Lesson to all men: if you want to play dirty at least have the balls to be honest about it. Girls will respect you more and appreciate it in the long run. Geez, men never learn.

Taxes

If rape is illegal, why is the government allowed to do it? I know taxes help the economy and yadda yadda, but why do I get to work hard, Uncle Sam takes my money, and at the beginning on the next year I get back a minuscule percentage of what I earned? I have to have children just to see a few more zeros on mycheck. So, what message is the government sending? Our economy is already struggling yet produce more children and we'll give you money to support them? And don't get me started on welfare. The lazy chic can sit on her lush rump watching basic cable and eating Doritos all day. The mother that's working a 9-9, and trying to feed three kids isn't qualified? Some justice system. America the land of the brave? More like America, the Land of legalized rape.

Adults not Appetizing?

You see it on the news all the time: Teacher arrested for having sex with a student. What I wonder is why. Is it the risk of being with a student? Or is it that these people are sick and like children/teens. What inspired this is that most of the time you rarely hear about college professors being with their students. It could be that it doesn't happen as often or that because students are legal, it's not a big deal.
What's boggling is that professors don't take the chance and teachers do. Why mess with someone that could land you years in jail when you can just be a college professor and have your prime pick at a bunch of legal tenderonies? Maybe professors are men and women who are at a more mature level and their libidos are in check. Maybe legal men and women aren't appealing. I've just been pondering this for a while and still have no answer. What makes these stupid teachers want to risk their career for a 14 year old? My advice to those idiots is like your own age group and or become a college professor.

Does Hard Work Really Pay Off?

You spend your life working, at least a lot of people do, and besides self gratification, do you ever reap the fruits of your labor? When is too much work not enough? When I'm excited or passionate about a project or assignment I try to give it my all. Sometimes I'll even go 200% if it's something I really want to see launch. Well, I learned (at least that's what I'm assuming) that maybe 200% needs to be 300%. I put my heart and soul into something and the outcome was definitely not what I expected. Am I over thinking my actual abilities? Did I really only put 75% and think I did more? I'm crushed sure, but I guess that just leaves room for improvement. Until next time.

gRoWiNg Up

G-Giving yourself and knowing how to balance life
R-Realizing that somethings are worth doing just because it builds character
O-Over achieving and reaching for the stars. Anything is possible if you believe.
W-Watching life change in front of you and being a part of the current.
I- It's never over, not even when the fat lady sings. Let her keep singing. You have work to do!
N-Never give up. Life may not be what you make it, but you can enjoy it
G-Gaze into the distance to check out your future. It's always healthy.
U-Utilize the tools wise persons give. Not all elders give knowledge but the ones that do take heed.
P-Play! Realize that life is serious so you don't have to be all the time. Take time to smell the roses. Make a new friend. You may just realize life is good.

Growing up is never easy but if you take the bull by the horns, you'll have no choice but to enjoy the ride.

Are we in a hurry?

Does life seem to pass some people by? Maybe. Does it appear that technological advances have created a world of urgency? Many people are so ready to speed through life. They want the fancy clothes, the nice lifestyle, the fast cars, marriage, kids, the whole nine and don't really want to work for it. I'll admit I'm one of those people. I don't want the materialist things. I want the family, the husband, the kids. Why rush? I'm young. I have my whole life ahead of me, right? Well, what am I really doing all of this for? Am I working and going to school to become a hot shot lawyer, drive a Lambo on the weekend and an Acura TL during the week? Am I doing this to gain fame and make a name for myself? I thought I was doing this to have a better life. Make sure my children would be well taken care of. To make sure when I do get married I don't need a sponsor and a husband to take care of me. As of today, I know that I'm bettering myself but I don't know what I want in life. For the first time I feel like my life is at a standstill. I truly have no idea where I am right now. I thought I was living life for me and my goals but I think I might have had other's dreams in my reach and was living my life for them. I have to recharge and see what it is I yearn for and what it is I truly want. Rush? For what? If I rush life will surely pass me by.

Life is Everchanging

They say life is what you make it,
But does life every really work that way?
They say take lemons and make lemonade,
But is life ever really that sweet?
Time changes people, situations, and perspective.
You live to learn and learn to live.
Is life ever what you make it?
No.
But life can be awe inspiring and wonderful.
Bliss comes when the dew has settled and you're looking over the horizon.
The sun is beginning to rise and life takes on a whole new meaning.
From birth to old age life is a maze.
It's full of surprises, heartaches, and so many great memories.
Cherish what you have and learn from what you had.
There's a lesson and blessing in every situation.
Embrace it and move on.
That's all you can really do.

The Show

The drag show was pretty fun. It was definitely out of my comfort zone but I met a ton of really nice people and had a great laugh. I knew the UT population was diverse but never as diverse as what I encountered that day. It's amazing what you see when you step out of your bubble. I can't wait to see what else I can do when I take a chance!

School Spirit

Yesterday, I decided it was time I showed some school spirit. I've been attending my university for 4 years next month and I have yet to attend a school function that wasn't mandatory. Work consumed most of my time. So, determined to make a change and schedule some extracurricular activities, I'm attending the second annual drag show on campus. I've never attended anything like this before. I'm looking forward to mixing and mingling with the "elites" of UT. Ha, yeah right. Truly I'm looking forward to seeing what the night holds. I'm going to attend the speech contest tomorrow and maybe the free movie event on Friday. Our school offers a lot of free and great opportunities and I'm ready to jump into the action.

Thursday From H3LL

Dictionary.com defines obstacles as something interferes with or prevents action or progress. My definition of obstacle is a stepping stone for character building. Today has been one of the most trying days I've had in a long time.
I stayed up until 1:30 am trying to finish homework and get things in order for this weekend. Getting up for work was a drag but instead of hitting snooze and going back to sleep I forced myself to get up. Once I got to work, the obstacles started to show. I had to print a ton of documents that I would need for later tonight. I'm multitasking and doing research, all why trying to complete a few last minute homework assignments. I'm running on autopilot until a customer decides to be belligerent and jolt my back to the present. Not only did I remain professional (which I had to do), justice was served because my managers backed me up. A small victory in my book.
Then I discover that I could have registered for my classes a week ago but needed clearance from my adviser. That took 3 hours but I was able to register for 2 classes that I didn't even need. The classes I did need were either not offered or were full. I took it with a smile and called school to see if there was something that could be done. I wasn't going to let one class stop me from graduating. I'm still waiting to hear back on that but I have an eerie sense of peace, although a storm is brewing inside. So, today I was stretched. I was tested to my limit and continued to grow and surprise even myself. Obstacles? Yeah right! Until the storm is brought to a head, I will continue to stretch.

The Power of Networking

When a group works together sometimes they work on the same brain wave. Each individuals has their own ideas and opinions but people start to agree with each other more and the creative juices seem to give way. In comes the importance of a bias third party. Not only is their idea fresh to the group but they see the entire project from a different angle. The third party perspective is necessary at times and very insightful. So the next time your professor wants to email a random person who you are terrified of talking to, embrace it. You may be pleasantly surprised at how much you learn. The power of networking is indeed powerful.

Who Wears Short Shorts

I got my second whim of inspiration. On my way to class, a guy walking to the pool on campus passes in front of me. He had on the shortest shorts I've ever seen. These shorts were of the same caliber as what the Globe Trotters wore. Maybe even shorter. I couldn't help but take a picture and send it to friends and family. I was just in awe. That's my new project-take pictures of odd and amazing things and analyze them. It was extremely fun and gave me a laugh that I so desperately needed.

Some People Really Have No Clue

I've been looking for something all week to inspire me to write a blog. I was at my wits end and didn't think anything worthy was going to come about. On tuesday, I was overlooking someone's college resume. They had a GPA higher than a 3.5, which made me a tad jealous. Envious may be the better word. Anyway, I look over the resume again and notice they had achieved that GPA while working a 14 hour work week. Maybe this is impressive to some, but I was taken aback with shock. I'm busting my butt to raise my GPA to a 3.0. Currently it's a 2.9. I work 40 hour work weeks at a minimum. There were semesters I worked 50 plus hours and maintained a 3.0 or higher for the sememster. As I sat back I realized one important think- never be envious of anyone if you're proud of your own achievements. If I only worked 14 hours a week, I'd had a 3.5 or higher as well. This has been one of the easiest lessons to learn in life. Too bad they can't all be this easy.

Update to Get it How You Live

I'm getting the shoes. I didn't have to use any of the steps besides asking. Because he was planning on getting me a more expensive gift, the shoes seemed like a gold mine. I'm extremely happy.

These are the beauties:

I know! But they match my purse and are extremely cute. Normally I wouldn't spend this much on shoes, but I really want these and it's been a few months that I've pondered the decision. Yay!

2010 Census

This morning my sister and I were discussing the census. It's mandatory the document be filled out. My sister was in a rage and fussing. I had no idea what was wrong. The census now has three classifications for Black people: Black, African-American, and Negro. I couldn't believe it. My question is, what is the difference between the three? What makes those categories so unique that it needed 3 names? That's racist as hell. So, before we started tossing the race card, I asked my sister, "Would it matter if the form was created by a Black or a White". She answered, "Absolutely not!" It didn't matter the color of the person that created the form, it was the categories that the form displayed. I personally feel that it is a racist act. It's equivalent to putting White/Caucasian/Cracker. Not only is that offensive but politically incorrect. Have we succumb to a world who just doesn't give a f@#* who they offend? So, my sister's plan of action is to cross off Negro , add Caucasian and Cracker to the form, and mail it back. It's a bold move but it's principles that matter. I think it's wrong but a necessary move. The "people" need to see that this labeling was not a good move. The nerve.

Get it How You Live

Here are ten steps to get whatever you want in life:
1) Be sweet
2) Give compliments
3) Learn to sell yourself, build rapport
4) Cry
5) Do a really high pitched scream until they throw money at you
6) Beg
7) Ask nicely
8) Ask period. If they say no, follow steps 1-6.
9) Be a bully
10) Try all of the above combined
If this doesn't work, don't get mad. I'm not an expert. Only some of these work for me. I'm trying to get my boyfriend to buy me a pair or Coach heels. He feels bad I didn't get a birthday gift or a Christmas gift. This is his chance to "make it up" to me. So, I'm down with the guilt trip. I'm so mean.

What Would We Do If We Could Choose

Choices are all around us. We get to chose what we eat. How we smell. Who we associate with. There are a few things that we do not have control over- our faces (unless we get surgery), our skin color, and our families. I'm sure that I'm not the only one to ever ask, "was I really meant to be with this family?". When the good times are rolling, you never question why. It's when your aunt gets on you about some guy or girl you're dating, or your mom wants to nag and ask what you're doing with your life. Or in my case, money. I swear money is the root of all evil. Why can't people understand it's just money? I love my family, but I'm tired of having the same argument. IF you are the person in your family who makes a decent amount of money and has excellent money management skills, RUN!!!! I'm all for helping family, but they are the ones who suck you dry. I need a vacation!

Music

It's amazing how music can affect us. When we hear a song that we've heard before, it's almost as if our brains triggers that time and moment when the song was first heard. When I heard "Have You Ever" by Brandy, I remember being in middle school, sitting on the benches during recess, with the long Moesha braids, chilling. I remember the boy I crushed on and made me sing the song while thinking of him. I was chatting with a friend and we were listening to music and it was just so funny and true when he described his memory to that song. I love to see how active our memory truly is. Something as simply as a song can make certain people remember things from back in the 70's. Maybe doctors should use music therapy to trigger memories. Maybe they do, but I think a lot of medical breakthroughs could come from music. A-ma-zing!!!

Bad Girls Club

I was watching the show last night and on Twitter at the same time. It was funny coming in to work today and listening to the conversations of people who saw the show. Natalie, a girl on the show, is the worst of them all and everyone always has something negative to say. Perez Hilton made a mention of her acne and that was the first time this season Natalie was quite. I was so amazed. I couldn't help Twitter that. I think I may even create a Facebook after this. My cousin was on Facebook and the response was even more amazing. It was great to actually see Facebook as the social network it was meant to be. I see it as useful. I'm finally throwing myself in to the cyber world and it's not half bad.

Hump Day Joy!

Today was actually a pretty good day. My job had a St. Patrick's Day function. There was food and entertainment. The entertainment was the employees dressed up as green machines. The winner of the "green" contest won $50. Some people really went all out. Today feels like a Friday. I'm pretty happy. My boy friend even texted me first today, twice!!!! And he called me on my lunch. I was beside myself. I think God felt a little piece of me slipping and decided to give me one, great day. And then I get to drink green beer (responsibly of course). I'm excited.

Spring Break

Spring break was quiet surprisingly. I did hang out with friends, but for the most part I enjoyed spending time with family and watching movie. I saw this one movie, Grapes on a Vine. Whatever you do, do not see this movie. The plot of the movie was great. The execution was poor. The director was an actor in the film (God rest his soul) and he should have spent more time directing than acting. I just thought is was distasteful and poorly done. Black people want to stick to their roots. I get that. Black Power!!! But seriously, if you ever want to make it in mainstream America, know your audience. If that movie was for black people, I feel offended. I'm more intelligent than that and that movie played on my intelligence. If you are a screen writer or a film student and hope to produce a movie that will make it to the big screen, save your money, get investors, and make a movie that doesn't make people say, "is he/she retarded". You'll do yourself more harm than good. I know this guy did. But anyway, spring break was cool but now it's back to the grind of homework, lots of reading, and long hours. Yay!

Making God Laugh

If you want to make God laugh, tell him you have a plan. Whether you believe in God, a higher being, or nothing at all, everyone can agree that plans don't always go.... as, well, planned. Slowly but surely I'm learning to take the bull by the horns and live life in the moment. That is so hard for me. I like to have everything planned, organized. Even when I have a messy room, I can tell you where each pair of shoes are and what goes where. That's just the way I process things. I love being a Christian but sometimes it's really hard to blindly go into a plan and trust that everything will work out in your favor. God hasn't steered me wrong yet. He's let me trip and stumble and bust my butt a few times, but at the end of the day, I was able to look back and laugh. So, if you ever want to test God's sense of humor, tell Him your plan. That will be the biggest joke of the day.

What is This World Coming to?

This weekend my nephew blew $70 on a stupid video game. In the game you kill zombies and witches and shoot guns, the whole nine. Well, not only is the game a sad depiction of reality (come on zombies don't bleed, right?) but you get to choose from a host of different weapons. Now, my nephew is smart but still needs some fine tuning in the writing and grammar area. He was able to identify all the guns and knives on the game. So, I say to him, "You seem to know all the types of guns but can't quite get your Math and English on track. What's up with that?" His response was, "Guns motivate me. I'm trying to kill these zombies." I was dumbfounded. I started thinking and asked myself, "Do we have to incorporate video games into the educational system in order for children, namely boys, to learn?" When I was younger, we weren't allowed to go outside until the homework was done and you had better not turn the TV on either. If we did go outside, we had to be in by 7 to make sure we had our baths and were in bed by 8. My mom was not having her kids be late for school because they overslept. Not in her house. Kids nowadays have no idea what true work ethic and dedication is. They want to smoke, drink, and just get by. My niece got a D. Her reply was at least I didn't fail. Really? You'll fail at life with that attitude. I know parenting has a lot to do with it but there comes a point and time where if you're old enough to walk to the store or beg for the newest MP3, you need to take some responsibility and make your own GOOD decisions. If kids this generation are our future we're all screwed.

Random

Thank God it's Friday. This week has been crazy. I've got 25 hours of sleep this week and I have so much more to do. It's ok though. I'm looking forward to spending time with family and my little oompa loompa (my BFF who's pregnant. She kinda big). Tomorrow is gonna be tiring and exciting all in one. Can't wait. Living in the moment

If you're racist don't read this blog lol

We were talking about racism and its effects in class yesterday. It's a touchy subject and it's hard to change the mind of anyone who doesn't welcome change. I think it is sad when we live in a world where people are so blind that skin color actually matters. I can't even fathom where the idea came from. I understand Columbus came to America and made the Native Americans slaves (which is why Columbus day is a joke and not nationally celebrated anymore, ha) and took them to England, etc. But when did it become a "fact" that black is bad? Dark skin is evil? It's not like the black people ravaged and pillaged and started knocking a bunch of white people over the head. They were just people who were uneducated because of their culture and the white man saw a way to make a quick buck. Some of the slaves were so submissive. How could submission be viewed as a threat? I find it so hard to even look through that eye because I think it's ignorant. How you are raised is how you are raised. But once you become an adult, you are your own person. You make your own ideas, probably pay your own bills, SO GET YOUR OWN IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Black, Brown, Yellow, whatever, does not = stupid or threat. For God's sake, the Simpsons are yellow and that's only a few shades away from being black if you want to talk cartoon colors. White people and half of America loved the Simpsons. I think racism is a joke. It is very real but the idea that people can't get along because of their color is sickening. Hate me because I don't have a penis. Hate me because my smile is too bright. Hate me because my big toe is slightly larger than normal, but don't hate me because of my color. I can probably do the job just as well or better. Minorities are taking over, so get with it or perish and leave the color loving people here to share a world or harmony and unity. That's harsh, but hey everyone has to kick rocks some time.

Life is Truly Interesting

You wake up in the morning and never really know what will happen. You think it will be an ordinary day. You'll get dressed, go to work or chill with friends and be a bum, eat, watch a little TV, do a little bit of work, and then go to bed. Yeah right!!! Life is so exciting and so much more than that. I truly believe life is what you make it. Take chances. Get out and feel the wind. Don't just sit inside and let life pass you by. Life has so many opportunities, even in this down economy we have. If you want to be a plumber and get turned down for 30 jobs in your area, go for job 31, or if you don't have any major family ties go to a place where plumbers are in high demand. Lemons. You can either make lemonade, add it to bleach to make a really good cleaner, or put it on your face to clean your pores. Either way the lemon had many purposes. It all depends on how you look at it.

High school reunion

I'm so excited. I seen almost all my good friends from high school. It's amazing. It's my friends birthday and almost ebveryone is here. This is the stress reliever I needed. Thank God for the opposite sex. I needed a night of drinks and good friends. I'm really happy.

Love Hate Date-Escape!

It's hard to love. It's even harder to compromise- if you're me. I like to have things my my. I'm the queen in my own castle and I'll allow a guest to rule, but you start doing things to aggravate me and it's see ya later. Well, I've learn the art of compromising because apparently I think this person is worth it, which says a lot, and now that he has a little room to be a big shot he wants to control the whole show. I'm out my element and it's taking all my inner love and strength to not toss him from a bridge. Seriously, I'm love him but really? Stealing my thunder, not happening. If anyone didn't know us, they would think that we aren't a great match. I'm venting of course, to spare his feelings, but hey if he read this it's fair game. He doesn't even know I have a blog so phew, no worries. It's been almost 5 years. We're young but I think if anyone can put up with an immature 17 year old and stick with him until he became an immature 22 year old, it is definitely pass the puppy love phase. It's a full blown relationship. Now he wants to plan our wedding (he's not ready in my opinion) and he wants to tell me what dress would be contemporary! Like Dude, it's my wedding, my day (oops ours), and my moment where I feel over the top gorgeous. Sit down before the groom on the cake gets replaced. OK, I'm being rash. We have plenty of time before we say I do. Things could change. But I don't want to wear orange instead of white. Bars don't look so hot on me.

Sick Sense of Pride

Is it wrong to feel more tired than you have in your life, want to cry, and work 13 hours and still feel pride? That's what I feel. Today has been tough. Came in to work today, ready to take over the world. Or at least the customers. Today, went off smoothly. I went to get my eyebrows waxed on my lunch and ate Japanese food. I was a little late getting back to work but it was ok. It wasn't until 6pm that my back started aching, and that little voice inside my head started screaming, "Why are you torturing me?!!!!". Then I have to go home and do homework for the teacher that keeps telling me my work sucked. She gave me a D yesterday! A D!!!!! I almost passed out. She did agree to give us a pass on the assignment because aparrently she wasn't clear and everyone in the class got either an F or a D. Hmm..... Anyway, this was about my sick sense of pride and my internal struggle not to kick my own @$$. Time is money. And right now I'm on the clock. Gotta jet!

Bad Girls

I should be in bed right now, getting ready for a long day at work tomorrow, yet I'm sitting here watching the Bad Girl's Club. Most of those girls are so obnoxious but yet their drama pulls me in. I thought I was a bad girl but these girls really take the cake. And some of these girls make me want to jump through the screen and rip them a new one. What happened to sophistication and decency? Don't get me wrong, I like my mini skirts and stilettos, but I still like to look professional. Girls in the world these days. I can't wait to watch next weeks episode!

Thrilled About Shoe Shopping

The title is a little misleading because I don't just like to shop for shoes, I love to shop for almost everything. I go to Wal-Mart at least 3-4 times a week. If all my bills are paid and I have $500 to mine name, $150 goes to clothes, shoes, or something I can get some appreciation out of. This week it's dress pants. I've gained a little weight (and when I say little it was 22 lbs but according to everyone I was anorexic and the weight makes me look healthy. Such great friends). My work pants are a little snug. A few days ago, I was wiggling into a pair of black slacks and broke a belt loop while trying to pull my pants up. I was running a little behind schedule, so I had to deal with the pants and just put a paper clip on it once I got to work.
Another time, I tried on one of my favorite shirts and had on my favorite bra. Yeah, well the bra made me look as if I had the love handles all over my sides and my breast couldn't breathe. Dorthy, you're not a little girl anymore. I guess I need bigger clothes. So, I'm excited. I love shopping anyway, and I love to look good. What a great combination! I can't wait. I'm getting new bras (not that it's any one's business I guess), new pants, and a few new shirts. I think I just need a sugar daddy so I can spend his money (j/k). Seriously, the thrill of shopping is getting so see what new trends are out and what some kooky designer was able to pass off as fashion. Shopping is great. The thrill is in the chase.

Just One of Those Days

Yesterday looked promising. I used past tense because I truly felt it would be a great day when I woke up that morning. I got dressed and felt confident. It was casual day at work so I was really relaxed and laid back. Too bad my day didn't remain that way. I was super excited because I had set an appointment with an academic advisor to complete all the criteria I needed to cover prior to graduation. I have 2 weeks of vacation time and a personal day I can use, yet I wasn't able to get the day off. That kind of mad me upset a little but it's corporate American, so what are ya' gonna do?
I did skip one crucial detail. I should have known how my day was going to turn out before I even set foot in work. I had on these really cute pumps that I've only worn twice. I was walking to the door from my car and slipped over the speed hump. I didn't fall! But I did see my life flash before my eyes. Instead of saying, "Hey, it's going to be a crappy day", I took the optimistic high road and pressed forward.
Moving forward, my computer kept shutting down on me. I slipped again leaving work, and I stayed up all night trying to complete an assignment I didn't believe in anyway. The assignment had no direction or guidance, yet my teacher expects us to "get it" and come up with a perfect project. She's off her rockers. But not one to complain, I do my best and hope that when I turn in my assignment today, it we at least be satisfactory in her opinion. It wasn't until 1AM that I finally was able to rest and but my crazy day behind me. I can't wait until tomorrow.

Realization

I'm sitting at work, after being her for 8 hours and going to school then coming back. I'm exhausted and tired but I push on because the company needs me. It is here at work that I have a realization. People around me are in my life for a season. Not everyone is meant to be in my life. There are some people who are meant to be in my life whether I want them to or not. I also realized that I'm more grown up today than I was yesterday. I'm in a relationship that I figured was pretty mature. 5 years is a long time to be with someone, whether you're 21 or 35. Well, the relationship definitely has some tenure but we are still very young. I don't think there's a certain age that is too young for marriage and yadda. However, maturity helps a marriage sustain. I don't believe in divorce. Sure, it's real just not my cup of tea. I also don't want bastard children. Not that there is anything wrong with them but I want my kids to grow up in a two parent home if possible. Anyway, I kind of drifted off. Back to my relationship. I've seen so many changes in him since the beginning. I've been patient and never tried to change him and he's a better man for that. Now I'm facing his ego. Sure, he's attractive but he's no Jon Bon Jovi. It seems his ego has to be stroked and apparently my stroking isn't enough. Don't get me wrong, he's a good boy. He's been faithful (at least that I know of) and he's pretty loving and sweet. He just needs to hear you're sexy about 10 times a day (no not literally). I'm just waiting for him to reach that stage where your wife, you children, and your job become your life. He's young. I'll wait. At least for now. I realized if it's love it works. If not, lesson learned and move on.

Hump Day Thoughts

Obviously, today is Wednesday. It's another day. This morning I woke up and felt gloomy. I didn't feel like going to work. I didn't feeling like smiling at anyone. I just wanted to lie in bed and stay there until Thursday came. Well So much for that. Life kicked me in the butt. I had to go to work. I had to smile at the people at work. I also had homework, so sleeping the day away was out of the question. So, why was I so gloomy? I guess because I'm a female. At times this quality is wonderful. Other times it's awful. I wonder what God was thinking giving women feelings. Why did we have to be the creatures who want an emotional attachment, and kids, and happiness. Why did we have to like princesses and fairy tales, and believe in Prince Charming? Don't get me wrong. I love having the body I have (most of the time) and being able to get dolled up. But I hate the periods, hate the emotional side, and all the dainty little times where life is just wonderful. And no I'm not on my monthly. I'm simply having a bad day. Although it did perk up a little. I found a lost item I thought was stolen and got verification that I'll be graduating on time. So, a little bit of sunshine has shone through. Anyway, I'm taking a mini hiatus as well. Cutting off the world, with the exception of the people I have to talk to and the people reading my blog. So, off I go. More later. Ciao!